Beauty of Birth Series | The Adoptive Mommy

I love the Beauty of Birth series for the reason that everyone’s stories are so different and beautiful in their own way. Grab a Kleenex and get ready because here is the story of The Adoptive Mommy…

My husband and I met in February 2006, engaged that June. This October will be our 9th anniversary!! We live in a small town in Arizona and were both teachers. We tried for over three years to get pregnant until that fateful day last June when we got a phone call to come meet our sweet little baby girl Ellie. We were not planning on adopting, adoption choose us!

How it all began:

March 20^thof 2011 my husband and I decided to grow our family. The first few months were fun and exciting. I knew since I had been taking birth control since we married in October 2006 that it would probably take at least a year to get pregnant. March 2012 came and passed. The fun turned into heartache and emptiness. A whole year without getting pregnant. I was against infertility treatments. It just wasn’t for me. I remember telling my OBGYN that I can always adopt if we couldn’t get pregnant…

Another year passed. Then in March 2013, almost two years to the day we started trying, after 23 plus negative pregnancy tests we FINALLY got a positive!! I was pregnant! It was a dream come true…

A few short weeks later (May 24^thto be exact) I had a D&C because my baby stopped growing, it’s heart stopped beating, she had died. I use to think if only I could get pregnant, even if I lost the baby, at least I would know I COULD get pregnant. Boy, was I wrong! I didn’t know such soul crushing pain was possible. It felt like a bad dream, but alas it was reality, my reality. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone!

Everyone kept telling me that my body just had to figure things out, now it knew what to do. My heart was broken, my uterus was empty, my soul was crushed, but we kept at it. Six months passed my arms and heart were still empty. I decided to look into adoption. In my small town we had very few options, I tried going through the state. The woman I talked to said I had to foster to adopt…I couldn’t do it. I had already lost one baby, I couldn’t chance losing anymore, so I let it be.

Another six months passed it was time to go back to my OBGYN (there are no fertility doctors within 3 hours of where we live) I HAD to try something. She put me on a low dose of Clomid to plump up my eggs and help with ovulation in case that was the problem. I started Clomid on May 14, 2014. Two week later I knew I wasn’t pregnant, I knew it with every part of me. There was no question, I was NOT pregnant. I called my OGBYN to try another round of Clomid but she wanted a pregnancy test to confirm what I already knew.

On June 5, 2014 my life changed forever! I was sitting at my kitchen counter holding the pregnancy test results, my HGC was less than one. I couldn’t have been further from being pregnant. I was ready to implode, and everything was starting to crumble around me…

Back up to June 4^th. It was about 10:00 PM, I was in bed asleep. My husband woke me up to ask if we were still interested in adoption, “Of course!” I replied in my sleepy and confused haze. A friend had just called, she met a woman who was ready to give birth and was “thinking of giving it up for adoption.” I didn’t really think much of it, one does not simply go to the hospital and get a baby without any preparation…

Back to June 5, 2014 the BEST day of my life. 8:30 AM I am sitting at the table, my imploding thoughts are interrupted with a phone call. It was her! The woman who was “thinking of giving her baby up for adoption” She asked if we were still interested. What?!?! Holy smokes!! Of course we’re interested! My husband and I spent the next four hours Googling “How to adopt a baby” we called everyone we could find a number for. Arizona Children’s Association, the courts in my town and the next one over, CPS, every lawyer we could find, friends who had adopted, friends who knew someone who had adopted. We got very few answers, no one could help us. So we went to the court house. After hours of looking we finally had a lead! A woman, who we shall call B, (She is AMAZING, more on her later) at the county attorney’s office who helps with adoption. As our luck would have it she was on vacation for two weeks! Here I was so close to having a baby, but she was just out of reach.

On the way home from the courthouse I had to call birth mom. I couldn’t put it off any longer. She needed to find a home for her sweet little baby girl, and it wasn’t going to be with us. I let her know about B and how she could help but not for a few weeks. As I talked with her we both cried and discussed our fears and hopes for baby girl. Birth mom kept telling me that “It was meant to be.” Our friend that had called the night before had told birth mom about our desire for a baby and our struggles getting pregnant. They spent a short time together but bonded over my husband and me. I kept trying to tell her that this baby couldn’t be ours, that there wasn’t a way. “It was meant to be” she kept repeating, “It was meant to be.” The final question she asked me was what we wanted to name baby girl so she could put it on her birth certificate. We had picked out a name so many months before when I was pregnant, Ellanora Lucille. There had to be a way!

I had great plans when I FINALLY had a baby of the things I did and did not want…one of which was eye drops right after birth. Since I was not there during her birth, she got them. Notice her big fat, red eyes.

Update: Today 5/5/2015 makes it 11 months since my daughter was born. My life has changed completely! I am now a stay at home mom. I have NEVER worked so hard and earned so little. I have also NEVER been so happy!! Watching Ellie grow and learn these past 11 months has brought a sense of joy and peace to my soul that I didn’t know could exist. She’s now crawling, pulling up, standing, and showing interest in people and things. Her simile when she sees me melts my heart every. single. time. The love that her dad, grandparents, and aunts have for her is beautiful. I feared at the beginning that others might struggle with loving a child that was adopted, (I have come to learn that mothers have TONS of irrational fears!) I want more children, but I have no desire to birth them…I just want to adopt more!!!

You can follow along with their story at The Adoptive Mommy https://www.theadoptivemommy.com/ and Instagram @the_adoptive_mommy! What a beautiful story, thank you for sharing!

You’ll Also Love