Did I read that right? You mean you’re a better mother when you are selfish and not selfless? Yes, you read that right. Being selfish is something that mothers are trained NOT to do. We’re expected to put our husbands, kids, dogs, house, career, yard work, laundry, events, family, planning, i.e.. everything in front of our selves and our needs. We are trained to ask how everyone else’s day was and hardly ever get a “how was your day mom?” first or even in return. Mothers are probably the most unappreciated people in this world. A mother will do anything for you. A mother will love you when you’re acting unlovable. A mother will always be there for you; there is nothing in this world like a mother’s love. That’s why I’m telling you that being selfish every once in a while is going to make you a better mom.
Time. We all wish it either goes by more quickly or slows down completely. It’s so hard to just live in the present. We live in a busy world full of hustle, and it’s so easy to get caught up in wishing we had just one more hour to mark a line through the to-d0 list that was a mile long at 8am and we didn’t even come close to finishing for the day. Let it go, mama…let it go.
It’s time to be selfish. It’s time to take that one hour a day for yourself. It’s time to take back your inner self, you know the one you had before you became a mom. It’s time to take a day to go do whatever you want to do. It’s important that you remember how to be YOU. When I became a mom, it was the best thing that had ever happened to me…but I lost myself. I got so lost in being “mom” that I wasn’t a good wife, I wasn’t a good me. It took me a while to figure out what it was that made me happy before I had kids, and I made a list. I made a list of the things that I would do, feel, eat, say, etc before I had babies. I remembered what it was like to be myself, and I slowly found myself; or the new me which ended up being a better me than before.
How do you even know what to do with yourself when you have time to yourself? Make a list of the things you liked to do before you had kids. For me, it was: shopping, going to the spa, getting manicures/pedicures, getting my hair done, reading, baking, and other things that I have no time for anymore but I enjoyed doing. Cleaning was even on my list!
How do you take time for yourself? Simple. Take time for yourself. Arrange for a babysitter, your husband, a family member, anyone you trust to take care of the kids for an hour or however long you may need to treat yourself. If you don’t have anyone to watch the kids, put them to bed or give them a nap. Take that time for YOU…take a bath, read a magazine, enjoy a hot shower alone, eat an Oreo and not share it.
What about the guilt? You know the ever-so-heavy mom guilt (we all have it) that you’ll get when you’re selfish. The time that you have away is going to be refreshing for you. It’s going to rejuvenate you and get you ready for another day of to-dos and hiney-wiping. It’s going to help you remember who you are and fall back in love with yourself. This is so important, moms, because in order to be a good and loving mom, you need to know how to love yourself. You need time to think about yourself. You need time to think about nothing. I promise, you deserve it and you WILL feel so much better when you return.
shirt c/o // jeans // booties (similar) // wristlet // sunglasses c/o
I recently took my own advice (ha) and had a day to myself. My hubby watched the girls and I took an entire day to do exactly what I wanted!! At first, I didn’t even know what to do with myself…but I quickly remembered how much I loved having coffee and not heating it up and shopping without little hands pulling everything off the shelves.
I started the day by pampering myself by getting a full set of eyelash extensions at Amazing Lash Studio-Lubbock which is something I haven’t taken time to do in a very long time. I felt a little guilty spending the time there, and doing something for myself but I tried to remember that it was going to save me time from putting makeup on and that it was going to make me feel beautiful! The staff was incredibly friendly and welcoming, and my stylist, Brook’lyn, was great through the whole process. I’ve had my lashes for about 2 weeks now, and been through pool water, lakes and lots of “momming” and so far they’ve stayed put! They will be ready for a fill by next week, but I’m LOVING the way they look and the time I’ve saved by not having to do my makeup. I instantly feel pretty when I see them and don’t ever want to take them off! If you’re thinking about pampering yourself with lashes…DO IT. If you’re in the Lubbock area, go to Amazing Lash Studio and you can even mention my name or blog for $25 off your first full set! There is a special introductory offer of $79.99 (plus the $25 off) and they’re regularly $250! Plus there is a great membership that allows you to get your fills each month for FREE. I got the style “cute” and love it. I think I might go a little bit more full for next time, but they look so natural. I highly recommend doing this if you’ve been thinking about it!
I spent the rest of my day having a lunch date with myself (honestly, I forgot how amazing it felt to actually sit down and eat lunch), shopping, getting a manicure and pedicure, and coffee. It was a great day that I want to try to challenge myself to do more often. I know that it’s hard to leave the babies with someone else, but it really was refreshing to have time to myself and come home ready to be a great mom. My mind was more clear. My head was less jumbled. I was more hands-on and less frazzled. It was great for me, and even though it’s not conventional to take time for yourself…it’s important! Just do it, and see how it makes you feel!
My challenge for you and myself is to take time for YOU (even if its 15 minutes) once a day. Then take a little more time to pamper myself and do something that I love doing like a girl’s night, movie, shopping, lashes, etc. at least once a month. My husband is so great to foster this for me, and I know it’s because I come back happy and refreshed! So what do you think? What are you going to spend your time doing for yourself?
This post is in collaboration with Chicwish and Amazing Lash Studio-Lubbock. This post may contain affiliate links in which Little Lovelies may be compensated through purchases. All images, content and opinions are that of my own.
Photography by Bon Bons Photography
So Important to take that time for yourself. Love mama!! <3