The Importance of NOT Raising Mean Girls

I’m a Girl Mom. Usually people cringe when I tell them I have two girls…and that I love having two girls.  Some say, “just wait until they become teenagers and then you won’t love having girls…” and it breaks my heart in a million pieces that girls get this reputation.  I am in fact, a girl, and I was raised by a girl who was also raised by a girl.  I happen to think Beyonce had it right – Who run the world?

Girls.

I’m a believer that God gives you what you need – what you can handle.  I’m blessed to have two girls and I feel like He trusted me enough to raise these girls.  It comes with a certain weight, a pressure, of raising these girls into sweet girls who have a heart for Jesus, to have grace through every situation, to have inner beauty, and to grow into exactly who God created them to be.  It’s my job to teach them that, and it’s my job to model that for them.  My mom always taught me to get through tough situations with other girls, to just give them a big Jesus smile and remember that there is a reason they are being mean.  That is something that will always be with me, and that I carry through my circumstances to this day.

I can say that my mom instilled in me the values that I want to instill in my girls.  She taught me grace, how to not be a “mean girl” and how to handle every situation with a lot of help from Jesus.  This is why I pray over my girls everyday that they have a sweet spirit and a heart for others. 

Girls are hard.  It starts young.  TOO young.  Hearts get broken, words can’t be taken back, attitudes are thick and feelings get hurt.  I’ve been there. I’ve been that girl, and I’ve also been associated with others who were thought to be mean girls.  It’s hurtful on both sides. It’s hurtful to be a girl and be hurt by other girls! I know that to get through it, you have to hold your head high and be that bigger person.  It’s probably easier said than done, but it’s always better to be bigger.  

I love the movie Mean Girls, but I think that all too much there are mean girls in real life that just have had their heart broken by another mean girl and turned them into a mean girl themselves.  It’s important to raise our girls NOT to be mean girls.  Pray over them.  Show them how to be compassionate about others who aren’t always the same as us.  Teach them the morals that you know.  Pray with them.  Love them hard.  Help them get through those broken moments and teach them that it is going to make them a better person.  Teach them NOT to be a mean girl.

I love having girls.  I love everything that comes with it! I love the bows, the tutus, the pretend makeup, the weddings, the playing house, the girl talk and even the tears that come from the attitude and not getting what she wants. There is drama.  Life is dramatic. It’s just part of being a girl, raising a girl and understanding a girl.  Girls don’t have to be hard, and girls don’t have to be MEAN. Simple as that: girls don’t need to be mean.

Let’s all just remember that it’s important to be nice.  It’s important to love and live.  It’s important to raise those baby girls, teenage girls, women, girls with girls into girls nice girls…pray for others that aren’t nice and remember that they are probably just dealing with something making them be mean.  It’s important to be your own person, to own who you are, and remember that it’s okay to be unique.  It’s okay to not love something that other people do. It’s okay to not agree with how another person lives their life.  It’s important to take every circumstance and realize that you are affecting others, always. 

There is always going to be a drama.  The outcome is always the way you choose to handle the drama. No one is born to be mean, and it takes a whole lot more energy to be mean than it does nice – so let’s just all be nice, raise nice girls and put an end to all of this mean girl business, k!?

 

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 Photos by Bonnie Loewen Photography.

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